Canine Behaviour Foundation Course
Module 3 - Section - 8 - Death & Dying
Module 3 - Section - 8 - Death & Dying
- Making the decision
- What to expect when your dog is put to sleep – euthanasia
- Helping children cope with pet loss
- Should I get another dog?
- Making the decision
There is no easy answer to this and the truth is you are just not experienced enough or equipped to answer this question. The best thing to do in a situation such as this is to suggest to the client that they consult their vet as they really are the only person, apart from the owner who can really know if the time is right or not. I often say, follow your gut and get vet to confirm same.
What you can do in a situation like this, is determine if the dogs are very close and if the other dog can cope without the other dog being around. If not, then it is time to bring in Alone Time training and tell the owner exactly why this needs to happen. It would be better if the dog’s physical condition allows, to do this work before the other dog is euthanized.
2 . What to Expect When Your Dog is Put to Sleep - Euthanasia
Euthanasia - Origin: early 17th century (in the sense 'easy death'): from Greek, from eu 'well' + thanatos 'death'. Euthanasia is the act of producing a humane death in an animal.
Having to make the decision of euthanasia is something that every pet owner dreads, however we find that knowing what is going to happen, helps one to prepare both yourself and my dog. We have had numerous questions as to what actually happens, and although this is not a subject we enjoy writing about, we do hope it will help people to understand the actual process and what is involved. As each vet has their own methods of working, we would also suggest discussing the procedure with your vet as well.
Before the Euthanasia
After discussing if the time is right with your vet, your first step is to decide if you or any of your family members want to be present. Most vets do their utmost to deal with euthanasia at a time when there are not likely to be people in the waiting room, or you can discuss with your vet if you would like the procedure to be carried out at home, although not all vet's will do this.
Deciding if you want to be present when the procedure is done is a very personal decision and if you feel that this route is not for you, then don't do it. It does not mean that you do not love your dog, or love it less than somebody that wants to stay with their dog, or are letting it down - there are just people that cannot cope with this and that is their decision, and they have nothing to feel guilty about.
Discuss with your vet as to whether he/she thinks it is a good idea to give the dog a relaxant before bringing it to the vet’s rooms. It may be an idea to consider taking some Rescue Remedy yourself first as well.
Arrange to make payment before the time. The last thing you want is to try and sort out the finances after the event when you are going to be emotional and possibly in front of a room full of patients and you may have to wait.
Decide exactly what you are going to do with your pets after the euthanasia. Most vets’ work with companies such as Legacy who will collect your pet after the event and follow your instructions.
We have had countless friends and clients tell us that they found that doing a bit of TTouch on the dog while the vet was busying himself for the procedure, helped to calm both the owner and the dog down. If you don’t know any TTouch, simply by stroking the ears you are influencing different acupressure points. The tip of the ear can stop an animal going into shock and is very relaxing. Also stroking between the eyes, over the top of the head can bring about relaxation - for both the owner and the dog. If you do know TTouch, a Wrap being put on the dog before going to the vet, will calm it even more and instead of doing a circle and a quarter, do a full circle only to ‘close’ the circle. Take your time to say your goodbyes.
We find the Avalon Pure Grief spray really helpful at a time like this and is can be used during the end period of the dogs life if a chronic situation and you know that the end is coming.
During the Euthanasia.
Even though you have discussed euthanasia with your vet, he/she will still do a physical exam before the procedure.
Prior to putting in the intravenous drip, many vets will give the dog an injection containing a sedative to make the procedure easier. This will immediately relax the dog and make it sleepy and is something we really recommend so please do speak to your vet about this – it will stop any struggling as the drip is inserted which is upsetting for both your dog and yourself. The vet will then insert an intravenous solution of pharmaceutical agents by way of a vein, normally on the leg, where the hair is first cut away.
Within just a few seconds your dog will become unconscious and there is no pain involved at all apart from the initial injection, which is very mild. The drug most commonly used is pentobarbital and this depresses the Central Nervous System starting with the cerebal cortex which is the part of the brain that determines awareness. The dog becomes unconscious which progresses to anaesthesia (which is the absence of pain) and because the dose is high, the breathing will slow down and stop, which causes cardiac arrest to occur, and the dog has then passed. This is a very quick process and on average only takes about 10-30 seconds from when the intravenous solution is administered.
After the Euthanasia
After the dog has stopped breathing the vet will listen to your dogs heart to confirm death and will let you know that the dog has now gone to the Rainbow Bridge.
The eyes remain open and the vet will normally close them when the dog has passed. Some dogs will urinate and/or defecate after passing and some will emit what sounds like a final breath. These are not signs that your dog is still alive, it is only a normal mechanical response and most vets will warn you that this can occur to prepare you if it does happen.
Most vets will step out of the room to allow you a few minutes alone with your dog. The vets I work with realize that this is an incredibly emotional time and will supply you with the privacy you need. If you made your arrangements beforehand regarding payment and your dog’s after care, you can simply leave when you are ready. I always feel it is a good idea to have somebody waiting for you to drive you home, even if you wanted to be alone with your dog during the procedure, as you have just done something so very difficult and your mind will not be on driving.
Many people do not realize how much the loss of a beloved dog can affect us and if you feel the need to talk to somebody about this, please don’t hesitate. People grieve in different ways, but there is usually a period of mourning involved.
3. Helping children cope
Here we are just not going to invent the wheel. Scotty was given permission by Rise to feature the article below and it really is excellent and covers all the points. Actually a visit to her website is really worthwhile and she has some wonderful articles you can read to expand your knowledge
Farewell Fido
by Risë vanfleet, phd, rpt-s (certified dog behavior consultant, iaabc)
www.playfulpooch.org : http://www.play-therapy.com/ : www.Apdt.com
Probably one of the biggest drawbacks of having canine companions is that they usually die before we do. And the strength of our attachment to them in life is usually reflected in the degree of grief that we feel when they are gone. This is true of children as well. It is an old and inaccurate view that children don’t feel grief. They do. When a child loses a pet dog, reactions can range from sadness to serious grief, and for some, actual traumatisation.
Children experience the loss of a pet dog under a variety of circumstances: the dog is old or ill, there’s an accident, the dog is relinquished for some reason, the dog runs away, disappears or is stolen, or parents punish children by removing the dog (an approach that is not recommended!). One particularly difficult situation occurs when the dog bites someone in the family and is subsequently euthanized. Regardless of circumstances, the child has lost a companion, a friend, and often a best friend.
Death is a topic that we sometimes want to avoid, but it is part of life, and the death of a companion canine offers an opportunity for children to learn about grief and loss while within the supportive circle of the family. Following are several things that canine professionals might suggest for parent to help children through the grieving process.
Be honest. Sometimes adults are tempted to shield children from the pain of loss by telling them “slightly altered” versions of the truth: “Fido went to live on a farm”. Despite the good intentions, this approach is not advisable. Even very young children are much more aware of what is happening than adults usually think. Dishonesty leads to distrust, and in this case it prevents children from learning about loss and how to cope with it. Instead, a simple age-appropriate explanation is warranted: “Fido is very sick and he may not live much longer. Have you noticed how he’s been whimpering a lot lately?” Inviting children to talk about their impressions is a valuable way to give them a chance to be heard and to understand their perceptions of the situation.
Give children a role in the process. When the time comes for a dog to be euthanized, look for ways that children can be involved. It is best to involve children when a dog is near death or must be euthanized. Perhaps the biggest decision is whether or not children should be present when the injections are given. In general, it is beneficial to describe the process briefly to children and give them a choice. Sometimes veterinarians make house calls for this sad duty, allowing opportunities for children to witness the peaceful passing. Some children are surprised at how calm it is, having imagined something far worse.
If children choose not to see the actual death, they can help prepare some soft blankets for the dog, select a favorite dog toy to remain next to the ashes (for cremations), make a special ceramic “head stone” for the dog’s grave or save a snippet of dog hair in a special place. Whenever possible, parents should inform children that the dog is dying so they can pet it one last time or say a private good-bye if they so choose. (Tip: People should avoid the phrase “putting the dog to sleep”. That unfortunate idiom has led to sleepless nights for countless children!)
Use children’s books to help them understand. There are many valuable books written for children about death and loss. My favorite is called Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant (available at www.dogwise.com). This book uses simple language and child-like illustrations to paint a picture of what dogs experience after death, including lots of biscuits, running around, and playing. This is not a religious book per se, although there is mention of some spiritual concepts like “heaven” and a kindly caretaker “God”. It is easy for families to adapt this to their own belief systems. Another good book is The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst. There are many others.
Acknowledge children’s feelings. Avoid the temptation to gloss over children’s feelings of sadness and emptiness. Instead, invite them to talk about these feelings; listen to what they say and help them to feel heard: “You’re really sad about Fido and you miss him so much. I’m sad and miss him, too”. In expressing their feelings, children begin to work through them, just as adults do. Quiet understanding and acceptance are all that parents, teachers, and caregivers need to offer.
After eliciting and listening to their feelings, invite them to write or dictate stories about their pet dog. As you help them express themselves, avoid a sombre demeanour and keep a lighter tone. A warm, interested friendly tone of voice is needed, as this climate provides emotional safety for children. When things get too serious, they can seem scary or intense, causing children to withdraw. One should take their feelings and comments seriously, but do so with a touch of lightness.
Offer creative ways for children to remember and honor their lost pet. Pull children’s drawing, stories and photographs together in a memory book. Hold a symbolic funeral by burying a dog figurine or photograph in a small box in the garden where it won’t be disturbed. Place the child’s written message to the dog into a helium balloon and send it skyward. Plant a tree or perennial flower in honor of the dog.
Keep daily routines as normal as possible. While it is important to take time for grief, it’s best to keep remaining family and school activities relatively normal. This helps provide a perspective on the loss: it’s sad and important, but other aspects of life go on. Daily routines can be comforting. If the child’s grief prevents him or her from participating in regular activities, help from a mental health professional might be indicated. Play therapists have special training in helping children deal with problems like this by using their natural inclination to play to help them heal (see the Association for Play Therapy’s directories menu and choose “Find a Play Therapist” for qualified play therapists in your area, www.a4pt.org). (South Africa - www.playtherapysa.co.za or ask your local doctor).
Consider the timing of a new dog carefully. Some people are ready for a new family dog rather quickly, while others swear never again to have another dog because the pain is too great. This highlights the great variation in people’s methods for coping with grief. There is no right or wrong here, although at least a short period (maybe three to four weeks) to allow grieving to occur is advised.
Families should avoid thinking of any new dog as a “replacement” for the dog who has died or disappeared. Each canine is unique and cannot substitute for another.
When children or parents have had a very special connection with the lost dog, they often remark that they will never be able to replace Fido. This is true-they can’t! The special type of affection, quirky behaviors, or funny antics that Fido provided for them are unique to Fido.
On the other hand, a new dog (acquired whenever the family feels ready) will bring new interactions and enjoyment to the family. The relationship will be different, but has the potential to be equally deep and satisfying – just in a different way. Canine professionals can remind parents/owners of this. Some comparisons with the former dog are probably inevitable, but families are less likely to be disappointed or frustrated when they keep this information in mind.
Consider parents’ feelings, too. Sometimes families make decisions about the grief process as well as the acquisition of a new dog primarily with children’s needs and wants in mind, but parents’ feelings matter, too. Any decisions should include careful consideration for the children, but parents should not disregard their own reactions and grief. As much as possible, all decisions about how and when to move forward after the loss of a beloved pet should be family decisions. If the children are begging for another dog while the mother is still deeply saddened by the dog’s death, it may not yet be time to bring another dog into the family.
Resources Online
The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (www.aplb.orghttp://www.aplb.org) has a vast amount of useful information about pet loss, including ways of helping children, and other sites are available online as well.
In general, grieving is a very individual process. As with human deaths, family members often experience renewed grief on special dates, such as the dog’s birthday or adoption date, the one-year anniversary of the death, and on holidays. Knowing that this is normal can help children and families cope better.
The little things are often missed the most: Fido’s squeaky bark, how he always got underfoot, the scratches by the back door, the food left in the corner, or the patch of dog hair found under the chair. These small remembrances can bring pain, but they are also part of the grief process that honors the dog’s meaning to us. This is true for children as well. As the weeks and months pass, family members should not hesitate to mention the dog and his or her meaning to the family. One father told his children at dinner about six months after their dog died, “I used to get irritated with Fido sometimes, but I really miss him when I see the chewed molding in the kitchen now. Fido was a wonderful friend to all of us”. His children then shared their own memories and the family spent a tearful few minutes thinking about their special relationship with their dog. While sad, this process takes us to the essence of life – our family and friendships, our laughs and loves. Helping children and sharing our own grief when a family dog is gone can underscore just how important these essentials are to a rich and rewarding life.
(Risё VanFleet, PhD, is a child/family psychologist and positive therapy dog trainer in Boiling Springs, PA. She is the author of many books in the play therapy field, and her book Play Therapy with Kids & Canines won the Planet dog Foundation’s Sit. Speak. Act. Award for best book on service and therapy dogs, as judged in the 2008 DWAA competition. Her series of articles, “Engaging Owners Full in Dog Training” in the 2009 issues of the The APDT Chronicle of the Dog recently won the DWAA Award for the Best Subject Related Series in a Magazine. She conducts trainings on Canine-Assisted Play Therapy and volunteers as a trainer at a local rescue. She can be reached through her Website at www.playfulpooch.orghttp://www.playfulpooch.org.)
4. Should I get another dog?
As in the question above about euthanasia, this is a question you will often be asked. Our standard reply before going further is that if somebody is asking this question, then they are not ready – however that is our opinion and we are not psychologists.
Losing a beloved dog is always heartbreaking and the grief does not just disappear overnight and people grieve in different ways and for different periods. So long should people wait? There is just no way to say – some people feel better having another dog in the house as soon as they can, while others just can’t bear the thought of having another dog, and sometimes never do. There are some pointers that you can ask your client to consider that may have some bearing on their final decision.
These are:-
The grieving process for some people can really be very, very difficult and there is absolutely nothing wrong in seeking professional help, actually this should be actively encouraged as often it is very difficult for other people to understand the depth of emotion that losing a dog can evoke.
Assignment
When dealing with clients it is vitally important to be yourself and be honest – however you also need to be able to present the pro’s and con’s to clients, or both sides of the coin, so to speak.
You may feel that it is your responsibility to stay with your dog to the end and be with him while euthanasia is done, however. as mentioned above, this route is not for everybody and nobody should feel guilty about leaving the dog at the vet to euthanize.
In order to clarify your own feelings and to be able to present both sides to your future clients, we would like you to write at least a paragraph as to:-
Please do this from the point of view that this will be read by your client. Take your time, this is a very difficult subject, however, it is a reality of life.
Consider the timing of a new dog carefully. Some people are ready for a new family dog rather quickly, while others swear never again to have another dog because the pain is too great. This highlights the great variation in people’s methods for coping with grief. There is no right or wrong here, although at least a short period (maybe three to four weeks) to allow grieving to occur is advised.
Families should avoid thinking of any new dog as a “replacement” for the dog who has died or disappeared. Each canine is unique and cannot substitute for another.
When children or parents have had a very special connection with the lost dog, they often remark that they will never be able to replace Fido. This is true-they can’t! The special type of affection, quirky behaviors, or funny antics that Fido provided for them are unique to Fido.
On the other hand, a new dog (acquired whenever the family feels ready) will bring new interactions and enjoyment to the family. The relationship will be different, but has the potential to be equally deep and satisfying – just in a different way. Canine professionals can remind parents/owners of this. Some comparisons with the former dog are probably inevitable, but families are less likely to be disappointed or frustrated when they keep this information in mind.
Consider parents’ feelings, too. Sometimes families make decisions about the grief process as well as the acquisition of a new dog primarily with children’s needs and wants in mind, but parents’ feelings matter, too. Any decisions should include careful consideration for the children, but parents should not disregard their own reactions and grief. As much as possible, all decisions about how and when to move forward after the loss of a beloved pet should be family decisions. If the children are begging for another dog while the mother is still deeply saddened by the dog’s death, it may not yet be time to bring another dog into the family.
Resources Online
The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (www.aplb.orghttp://www.aplb.org) has a vast amount of useful information about pet loss, including ways of helping children, and other sites are available online as well.
In general, grieving is a very individual process. As with human deaths, family members often experience renewed grief on special dates, such as the dog’s birthday or adoption date, the one-year anniversary of the death, and on holidays. Knowing that this is normal can help children and families cope better.
The little things are often missed the most: Fido’s squeaky bark, how he always got underfoot, the scratches by the back door, the food left in the corner, or the patch of dog hair found under the chair. These small remembrances can bring pain, but they are also part of the grief process that honors the dog’s meaning to us. This is true for children as well. As the weeks and months pass, family members should not hesitate to mention the dog and his or her meaning to the family. One father told his children at dinner about six months after their dog died, “I used to get irritated with Fido sometimes, but I really miss him when I see the chewed molding in the kitchen now. Fido was a wonderful friend to all of us”. His children then shared their own memories and the family spent a tearful few minutes thinking about their special relationship with their dog. While sad, this process takes us to the essence of life – our family and friendships, our laughs and loves. Helping children and sharing our own grief when a family dog is gone can underscore just how important these essentials are to a rich and rewarding life.
(Risё VanFleet, PhD, is a child/family psychologist and positive therapy dog trainer in Boiling Springs, PA. She is the author of many books in the play therapy field, and her book Play Therapy with Kids & Canines won the Planet dog Foundation’s Sit. Speak. Act. Award for best book on service and therapy dogs, as judged in the 2008 DWAA competition. Her series of articles, “Engaging Owners Full in Dog Training” in the 2009 issues of the The APDT Chronicle of the Dog recently won the DWAA Award for the Best Subject Related Series in a Magazine. She conducts trainings on Canine-Assisted Play Therapy and volunteers as a trainer at a local rescue. She can be reached through her Website at www.playfulpooch.orghttp://www.playfulpooch.org.)
4. Should I get another dog?
As in the question above about euthanasia, this is a question you will often be asked. Our standard reply before going further is that if somebody is asking this question, then they are not ready – however that is our opinion and we are not psychologists.
Losing a beloved dog is always heartbreaking and the grief does not just disappear overnight and people grieve in different ways and for different periods. So long should people wait? There is just no way to say – some people feel better having another dog in the house as soon as they can, while others just can’t bear the thought of having another dog, and sometimes never do. There are some pointers that you can ask your client to consider that may have some bearing on their final decision.
These are:-
- If you have not gone through the grief period, not matter what anybody else in the family says, it is not time for another dog. To be ‘pushed’ into getting another dog when you are not ready, often ends up in the new dog being constantly compared to the dog that has left and a solid bond is never formed – not fair to either the dog or owner.
- Although you may be ok about getting another dog, what about the rest of the family? A new dog should not be brought in until each and every member of the family is ready for it.
- Look at your existing pack – is it really going to be fair to them to bring in a new dog? Go back on your notes for all the questions to ask.
- Go back to basics with your clients as in your notes on what to ask when considering getting another dog and bring in that which is applicable.
- If client is leaning towards getting another dog, it is often a good idea to suggest that they get a totally different breed so that no comparisons are made.
The grieving process for some people can really be very, very difficult and there is absolutely nothing wrong in seeking professional help, actually this should be actively encouraged as often it is very difficult for other people to understand the depth of emotion that losing a dog can evoke.
Assignment
When dealing with clients it is vitally important to be yourself and be honest – however you also need to be able to present the pro’s and con’s to clients, or both sides of the coin, so to speak.
You may feel that it is your responsibility to stay with your dog to the end and be with him while euthanasia is done, however. as mentioned above, this route is not for everybody and nobody should feel guilty about leaving the dog at the vet to euthanize.
In order to clarify your own feelings and to be able to present both sides to your future clients, we would like you to write at least a paragraph as to:-
- Why you feel it is a good idea to stay with your dog during euthanasia
- Why you do not feel it is a good idea to stay with your dog during euthanasia
Please do this from the point of view that this will be read by your client. Take your time, this is a very difficult subject, however, it is a reality of life.
