Be Your Dog's Best Friend
Module 3 - Section 4
Module 3 - Section 4
House Rules for pups
House Rules for pups - general
House Rules for pups - general
- Ignoring your dog when arriving home
- Attention on your terms or not at all
- Work to earn - general
- NRM/RM - Non-Reward & Reward Marker

House Rules for pups - General
In a natural dog pack, a pup would be able to get away with just about any behaviour from the rest of the pack until it reached the approximate age of about 16 weeks of age, unless the behaviour was extreme - after that the rest of the pack would start to punish unacceptable behaviour by way of ignoring, snarling, growling and even nipping.
As it is simply not logical for us humans to act like dogs and start growling and biting them, it is far better for us to bring in these House Rules as soon as possible, rather than wait until the pups are around the 16 weeks of age period - by doing so the pup knows exactly what is acceptable and what is not, which immediately leads to improved behaviour and understanding.
What we tend to do is to take these glorious animals into our lives and seldom put down basic rules. The majority of parents bring in basic rules with their children, and in actuality, basics rules are part of our society and need to be in order for it to function - yet we often bring these pups into our lives and give them little or no direction - no wonder their behaviour can often go awry!
All of these exercises are a variation of the manner in which dogs act between themselves - amended to make it easier for us humans. As dogs engage in similar behaviour between themselves, they tend to understand what we are doing and why and respond with good behaviour accordingly. Remember that dogs ‘talk’ to one another by using body language, and that is simply what we are doing – showing by our own body language what is and is not acceptable.
Additionally, by bringing in these simply rules we open up clear lines of communication as well as proving ourselves to be conscientious and benevolent owners/handlers/leaders which leads to better bonding and behaviour, and the dogs seeing us as being in charge of the combined human/canine social structure. Another aspect of being totally consistent with these House Rules is that the dog knows exactly where it stands - what is allowed and what is not - this creates a foundation of trust and co-operation. The House Rules really are the ABC of moulding a well-behaved dog and will go a long way to preventing future behaviour concerns.
As mentioned, bringing in the basic House Rules also serves to raise the owner up in the combined human/canine social structure. This will help pups to feel more secure as they know who is in charge. What is so important here, and in all aspects of dog training, is that practice and consistency are the key ingredients. To do some of these sometimes and not others or have only certain members of the family following House Rules only leads to total confusion for the pup. A bit like, in human terms that Mom says no, and Dad says yes, and additionally if we are not consistent it will result in the behaviour we do not want being reinforced. To get dogs to work harder, perform better, dog training actually makes us of varied reinforcement – so if you are not consistent – guess what!
Many owners will talk about how one dog is the ‘alpha’ in the dog pack – the only ‘alpha’ in the combined human/social structure should be you! You are the one that controls all the resources and decides who is given attention and when, and this applies to all members of the family.
As a matter of interest, it is very seldom that there is an ‘alpha’ dog – different things are of varying importance to dogs – you may find that one dog is the leader when it comes to its owners – another dog is the leader when it comes to balls being played with – or another dog is the leader when it comes to food, and so forth.
1. Ignoring your dog when you arrive home
This exercise to be carried out in silence until the pup has a total understanding of what you expect. Thereafter we suggest that the basic principles of expecting a well-mannered dog that sits politely in front of owner to be greeted is the norm. Think about it, if this is the way that your first interaction with the pup happens - it sets the stage for continued good behaviour and mutual respect.
Your dog would not bound up to the leader of the pack and jump all over him and demand attention, so why should your dog do this to you? Granted pups do have a certain time of ‘puppy licence’ where the behaviour may be allowed as mentioned above, but this is not behaviour that would be tolerated in the long term. If we relate this situation to human terms, would you allow your child to come up to you and say, “I want it, give it to me now!!” – I hope not! You would probably say something along the lines of “when you can ask me in the correct manner and say please, we will see what can be done”- or similar phrasing. We teach our children to be well behaved, well-mannered members of society, so why then do we not teach our dogs the same thing? Simple, we just haven’t thought about it that way and you did not have the skill to ‘speak dog’ and understand your pups body language.
By walking into the house and totally ignoring your pup you are giving the message that you are in charge – attention is given on your terms or not at all, and any unacceptable behaviour will result in the attention the pup wants being withheld - as dogs are incredibly intelligent, they very quickly figure out what behaviour will result in the attention they want and what behaviour does not.
Interestingly, this exercise is the hardest one for owners to adhere too and it is one of the most important one’s – if you do not carry this through correctly, you are immediately limiting your chances of success. The difficulty with pups is that they are so cute and adorable, and it is so hard to resist picking them up all the time and giving them a cuddle. The importance of human/canine interaction is to be consistent, otherwise you are reinforcing the behaviours you don’t want and totally confusing the dog – yes, we have said this before, and guess what? We will say it again and again!
What is crucial is that this exercise takes place the very second you come into contact with the pup as you arrive home. As you walk in, right by the door, stand still as you see your pup and then ignore your pup, do not look at it or speak to it, and if necessary utilize your own body language to get the message across – turn your head away and even fold your arms which shows that you do not want your own personal space violated – dogs are very aware of personal space and body language as we learnt in the section on Calming & Appeasement Signals
Your pup may initially think you have gone mad and the behaviour will worsen (a bit like a child throwing a tantrum) and it will try to jump up more or demand attention. If pup jumps up, just move legs/body around to discourage pup - this results in gently getting the pup off you and we have named it the ‘doggy twist’. If you bent down to push the pup off the pup would then be receiving attention and would be more likely to repeat the jumping up behaviour. Remember that attention is attention to a dog, whether negative or positive, and dogs will always work more for what gains them attention. Remember not to look at the pup (this could possibly signal either aggression or that we want something from the pup) or talk to it. After a time, the pup will settle down, walk away or find something else to do.
Allow it this time out to digest the change in circumstances for about 5 -10 seconds (so that the pup associates the time period with the behaviour) then in a happy cheerful voice, call the pup to you, ask for a sit and praise. (It is suggested that the hand signal for Sit is used simultaneously). It is impossible to tell a dog to do nothing, what we are doing instead, is showing the dog what behaviour we do expect i.e. sitting quietly and waiting to be greeted.
We do recommend that when teaching this new behaviour that praise, and a treat is forthcoming – this will just reinforce the new behaviour as well as make it rewarding for the pup to perform this new behaviour. When teaching a new behaviour, you should reward on a continuous schedule – 100% - once the pup has a firm understanding you can start to fade the reward. Part of the pup’s daily allowance can be used for this exercise – just keep a bit in your car and bring it into the house with you.
Two further points to consider: -
a. Rather don’t shower the pup with love right by the door after it has calmed down. Rather take a few steps completely away from the door, so that the front door and people arriving through it are expected to be greeted politely. Preferably, choose a place to say hello, totally away from the door completely and then give all the love you wants too. We do suggest, that you go down to the pup’s level and gently restrain by the collar, to prevent jumping up.
b. If your pup is a bouncing ball of energy and bounces up again after the first greeting, then take a step away, request a Sit and reward with praise and then a treat. This can be done a few times in a row and normally results in the pup becoming a lot calmer overall.
Variation – not all of you are going to meet your pup in the above situation, so here are some other options which may apply to you.
Seeing your pup for the first time through security gate or glass door– virtually identical as above. Owner stands in front of gate or glass door and ignores pup completely. When pup has given up and walks away – owner goes inside to the pup and stands next to the gate or door, and the rest of the exercise, as above, is repeated.
The odds are that pup will then get very excited, so the ignoring occurs as above. Regardless of how you meet the pup a variation of this basic exercise can be done.
In a natural dog pack, a pup would be able to get away with just about any behaviour from the rest of the pack until it reached the approximate age of about 16 weeks of age, unless the behaviour was extreme - after that the rest of the pack would start to punish unacceptable behaviour by way of ignoring, snarling, growling and even nipping.
As it is simply not logical for us humans to act like dogs and start growling and biting them, it is far better for us to bring in these House Rules as soon as possible, rather than wait until the pups are around the 16 weeks of age period - by doing so the pup knows exactly what is acceptable and what is not, which immediately leads to improved behaviour and understanding.
What we tend to do is to take these glorious animals into our lives and seldom put down basic rules. The majority of parents bring in basic rules with their children, and in actuality, basics rules are part of our society and need to be in order for it to function - yet we often bring these pups into our lives and give them little or no direction - no wonder their behaviour can often go awry!
All of these exercises are a variation of the manner in which dogs act between themselves - amended to make it easier for us humans. As dogs engage in similar behaviour between themselves, they tend to understand what we are doing and why and respond with good behaviour accordingly. Remember that dogs ‘talk’ to one another by using body language, and that is simply what we are doing – showing by our own body language what is and is not acceptable.
Additionally, by bringing in these simply rules we open up clear lines of communication as well as proving ourselves to be conscientious and benevolent owners/handlers/leaders which leads to better bonding and behaviour, and the dogs seeing us as being in charge of the combined human/canine social structure. Another aspect of being totally consistent with these House Rules is that the dog knows exactly where it stands - what is allowed and what is not - this creates a foundation of trust and co-operation. The House Rules really are the ABC of moulding a well-behaved dog and will go a long way to preventing future behaviour concerns.
As mentioned, bringing in the basic House Rules also serves to raise the owner up in the combined human/canine social structure. This will help pups to feel more secure as they know who is in charge. What is so important here, and in all aspects of dog training, is that practice and consistency are the key ingredients. To do some of these sometimes and not others or have only certain members of the family following House Rules only leads to total confusion for the pup. A bit like, in human terms that Mom says no, and Dad says yes, and additionally if we are not consistent it will result in the behaviour we do not want being reinforced. To get dogs to work harder, perform better, dog training actually makes us of varied reinforcement – so if you are not consistent – guess what!
Many owners will talk about how one dog is the ‘alpha’ in the dog pack – the only ‘alpha’ in the combined human/social structure should be you! You are the one that controls all the resources and decides who is given attention and when, and this applies to all members of the family.
As a matter of interest, it is very seldom that there is an ‘alpha’ dog – different things are of varying importance to dogs – you may find that one dog is the leader when it comes to its owners – another dog is the leader when it comes to balls being played with – or another dog is the leader when it comes to food, and so forth.
1. Ignoring your dog when you arrive home
This exercise to be carried out in silence until the pup has a total understanding of what you expect. Thereafter we suggest that the basic principles of expecting a well-mannered dog that sits politely in front of owner to be greeted is the norm. Think about it, if this is the way that your first interaction with the pup happens - it sets the stage for continued good behaviour and mutual respect.
Your dog would not bound up to the leader of the pack and jump all over him and demand attention, so why should your dog do this to you? Granted pups do have a certain time of ‘puppy licence’ where the behaviour may be allowed as mentioned above, but this is not behaviour that would be tolerated in the long term. If we relate this situation to human terms, would you allow your child to come up to you and say, “I want it, give it to me now!!” – I hope not! You would probably say something along the lines of “when you can ask me in the correct manner and say please, we will see what can be done”- or similar phrasing. We teach our children to be well behaved, well-mannered members of society, so why then do we not teach our dogs the same thing? Simple, we just haven’t thought about it that way and you did not have the skill to ‘speak dog’ and understand your pups body language.
By walking into the house and totally ignoring your pup you are giving the message that you are in charge – attention is given on your terms or not at all, and any unacceptable behaviour will result in the attention the pup wants being withheld - as dogs are incredibly intelligent, they very quickly figure out what behaviour will result in the attention they want and what behaviour does not.
Interestingly, this exercise is the hardest one for owners to adhere too and it is one of the most important one’s – if you do not carry this through correctly, you are immediately limiting your chances of success. The difficulty with pups is that they are so cute and adorable, and it is so hard to resist picking them up all the time and giving them a cuddle. The importance of human/canine interaction is to be consistent, otherwise you are reinforcing the behaviours you don’t want and totally confusing the dog – yes, we have said this before, and guess what? We will say it again and again!
What is crucial is that this exercise takes place the very second you come into contact with the pup as you arrive home. As you walk in, right by the door, stand still as you see your pup and then ignore your pup, do not look at it or speak to it, and if necessary utilize your own body language to get the message across – turn your head away and even fold your arms which shows that you do not want your own personal space violated – dogs are very aware of personal space and body language as we learnt in the section on Calming & Appeasement Signals
Your pup may initially think you have gone mad and the behaviour will worsen (a bit like a child throwing a tantrum) and it will try to jump up more or demand attention. If pup jumps up, just move legs/body around to discourage pup - this results in gently getting the pup off you and we have named it the ‘doggy twist’. If you bent down to push the pup off the pup would then be receiving attention and would be more likely to repeat the jumping up behaviour. Remember that attention is attention to a dog, whether negative or positive, and dogs will always work more for what gains them attention. Remember not to look at the pup (this could possibly signal either aggression or that we want something from the pup) or talk to it. After a time, the pup will settle down, walk away or find something else to do.
Allow it this time out to digest the change in circumstances for about 5 -10 seconds (so that the pup associates the time period with the behaviour) then in a happy cheerful voice, call the pup to you, ask for a sit and praise. (It is suggested that the hand signal for Sit is used simultaneously). It is impossible to tell a dog to do nothing, what we are doing instead, is showing the dog what behaviour we do expect i.e. sitting quietly and waiting to be greeted.
We do recommend that when teaching this new behaviour that praise, and a treat is forthcoming – this will just reinforce the new behaviour as well as make it rewarding for the pup to perform this new behaviour. When teaching a new behaviour, you should reward on a continuous schedule – 100% - once the pup has a firm understanding you can start to fade the reward. Part of the pup’s daily allowance can be used for this exercise – just keep a bit in your car and bring it into the house with you.
Two further points to consider: -
a. Rather don’t shower the pup with love right by the door after it has calmed down. Rather take a few steps completely away from the door, so that the front door and people arriving through it are expected to be greeted politely. Preferably, choose a place to say hello, totally away from the door completely and then give all the love you wants too. We do suggest, that you go down to the pup’s level and gently restrain by the collar, to prevent jumping up.
b. If your pup is a bouncing ball of energy and bounces up again after the first greeting, then take a step away, request a Sit and reward with praise and then a treat. This can be done a few times in a row and normally results in the pup becoming a lot calmer overall.
Variation – not all of you are going to meet your pup in the above situation, so here are some other options which may apply to you.
Seeing your pup for the first time through security gate or glass door– virtually identical as above. Owner stands in front of gate or glass door and ignores pup completely. When pup has given up and walks away – owner goes inside to the pup and stands next to the gate or door, and the rest of the exercise, as above, is repeated.
The odds are that pup will then get very excited, so the ignoring occurs as above. Regardless of how you meet the pup a variation of this basic exercise can be done.
2. Attention on your terms or not at all – This exercise to be carried out in silence until the pup has a total understanding of what is expected of it.
In a dog pack, demanding attention from the pack leaders, and indeed, any dog higher in the pack, would simply not be tolerated especially after the approximate 16-week period. If a higher-ranking member wanted to play or interact, it would be that dog that would initiate the interaction.
We are not always aware how often our pups do demand attention from us; they often do it without us realizing it. With puppies it is because they are just so cute and adorable (false advertising!) and before we know what we realize what we are doing, we are picking up the pup, cuddling it etc – we are, inadvertently, starting a bad habit. Some of the ways in which pups and dogs demand attention are: -
When the pup exhibits the demanding behaviour, ignore the pup completely. If you are sitting on the chair and the pup comes up and tries to interact with you, turn your head and even your body away. If the pup becomes persistent and tries to jump up, without looking or talking to it, put it gently back on the floor. If it continues, stand up and move to another chair where it can’t jump onto. There is absolutely no talking to the pup at all - dogs communicate mainly with their bodies and our body is giving out the correct message by ignoring in that we do not want the interaction with the pup at that stage.
It does not matter what the pup does, we continue to ignore the pup. Now comes a very important part! Once the pup has given up and walked away, count quickly to 5 or 10 seconds, call the pup back and give all the attention you want too. Once the pup understands what behaviour gains it attention and what behaviour does not result in attention, then start to bring in the Work to Earn described below and request a Sit before attention is given – important that the pup understands the above first. The reason for the very short time period before calling pup back is that the pup figures out for itself what behaviour worked and what didn’t. If we waited five minutes or so before calling the pup back, the pup would not associate what behaviour resulted in it being ignored and what behaviour resulted in attention being given – pups and dogs live in the ‘moment’ so very important that the pup realizes what worked and what did not.
Once the pup has a full understanding of above, then you can start to extend the period before calling it back – once full understanding, you can ignore the pup completely unless you want it to come back to you.
3. Work to Earn - General
Again, bring this exercise in, only when the pup has understood the above.
As we all have to ‘work for our living’ so too does the pup from now on. If we relate this to pack behaviour, every single dog has a job, or combined jobs to perform, such as looking after the pups, guarding the pack, cleaning the den (faeces), hunting for food etc. So, if you look at it that way, why not have your pup working for its living? The more you take control of all the resources, the more your pup will view you, and the rest of the family, as being in charge in the human/canine social structure and the end result will be that the pup will be more relaxed, knowing you are in charge and not try to take charge itself. This will result in good behaviour and less likelihood of bad habits developing.
With our 10 fingers we supply all our dog’s needs – food, walks, play, petting, exercise etc and this together with our voices and body language gives us excellent tools with which to show our dogs that we are the natural leaders in the combined human/canine social structure. At the risk of repeating ourselves for about the 3rd time (we guess by now you have figured out this is important!) it is essential to be consistent when working with dogs.
So from now on there is nothing for free and no matter what the wants it will have to work for it. The work? A simple Sit!
From now on, no matter what the circumstances, the pup is required to perform a simple Sit. This can be before walks, for attention, before ball is thrown etc. This can be incorporated into all parts of a pup’s life and results in a well-behaved pup that sits politely in front of people - what a pleasure. Some examples where to use this are below, and bring this in with anything you can think of: -
4. NRM/RM – Non-Reward & Reward Marker -
In behaviour modification, we may not use this exercise, as to do so may result in us giving attention to a behaviour the dog is already doing, here, we are using it as a training exercise of what behaviour we will, and will not accept.
Please note, that this exercise not to be used while teaching the Ignoring when arriving home, and Attention on your terms at this stage – rather keep this for any other behaviour not acceptable, such as the pup trying to jump up onto a table, or similar.
Very often, a dog has heard the word ‘no’ so many times that it becomes white noise and is totally ignored, and this is why we prefer the use of a word that is not used in our daily conversation such as ‘hush’, poufy, uhuh etc. 000It does not matter what word you use as long as it is not part of your daily conversation. We prefer the cue UH-UH!, as it is a word that, on average, is not used in the home vocabulary.
Additionally, it is very difficult to tell our dogs to do nothing! You may be able to say to your children ‘please don’t walk on the tiles, I just washed them’, but your pup would not understand a word of this. By bringing in a word/cue that is used exclusively for behaviour we do not want, it makes it much easier for the pup to understand and by using only one word which is always the same, complete consistency is achieved.
However, there are a few rules with the NRM - it must only be used WHILE the dog is engaged in the behaviour you do not want - even a few seconds later is too late as the dog will relate the NRM to what it is currently doing - not the behaviour is was engaged in a few seconds before.
What is also important with the NRM is the tone and intensity of your voice. Although dogs normally listen to people who speak in a quiet voice, when teaching a pup, the NRM we suggest that the first few times you use a harsher and higher tone of voice. The reason for this is that it will make more of an impact on the pup - if you started off in a very quiet tone of voice the pup would possibly ignore you and you end up having to repeat the NRM several times eventually shouting - by going in with a harsher and louder voice than usual you can get the desired effect.
Once the pup has a total understanding of the NRM you can reduce your tone of voice completely. Another point here is that when saying the UHUH, make both your body language and facial expressions mean what you say - by looking stern, staring at the pup with hard eyes, making your body stiff. Overkill? Yes, but we want to get the message across and this does not have to continue once the pup understands – once the pup understands, the intensity that the cue is delivered can be reduce, and once your pup does understand, you will find that you may well be able to say UHUH, and raise your eyebrows, or point you finger, and the pup will stop.
This is all well and fine - the pup now understands what we do not want, so how do we indicate to the pup what we do want? Simple, we can make use of a Reward Marker by simply saying 'good dog' the very second the pup stops the behaviour we do not want. It is important to actually mark the behaviour you do want so in the example of a pup that was jumping up on the table, you would use the NRM of UHUH while the pup had its paws against the table - the very second the paws touch the floor, you would then say 'good dog'.
What is important here is that the Reward marker is totally non-committal - a bit like you pass somebody a glass of water and they say 'thank you. There is no inflection of the voice, no touching and no praise and also do not use the dog’s name.
What we have now done is to bring in a system whereby the pup understands exactly what it can and cannot do - a new language or way of communication has been formed and this will result in your pup being more secure and a lot better behaved as it understands what you want.
In a dog pack, demanding attention from the pack leaders, and indeed, any dog higher in the pack, would simply not be tolerated especially after the approximate 16-week period. If a higher-ranking member wanted to play or interact, it would be that dog that would initiate the interaction.
We are not always aware how often our pups do demand attention from us; they often do it without us realizing it. With puppies it is because they are just so cute and adorable (false advertising!) and before we know what we realize what we are doing, we are picking up the pup, cuddling it etc – we are, inadvertently, starting a bad habit. Some of the ways in which pups and dogs demand attention are: -
- Sitting looking at us with adoring eyes
- Paw on our laps
- Sitting on our feet
- Barking or whining for attention
- Bringing a toy to be played with
- Jumping up onto us
- Scratching our legs
- Licking us
- Nipping, mouthing, biting
When the pup exhibits the demanding behaviour, ignore the pup completely. If you are sitting on the chair and the pup comes up and tries to interact with you, turn your head and even your body away. If the pup becomes persistent and tries to jump up, without looking or talking to it, put it gently back on the floor. If it continues, stand up and move to another chair where it can’t jump onto. There is absolutely no talking to the pup at all - dogs communicate mainly with their bodies and our body is giving out the correct message by ignoring in that we do not want the interaction with the pup at that stage.
It does not matter what the pup does, we continue to ignore the pup. Now comes a very important part! Once the pup has given up and walked away, count quickly to 5 or 10 seconds, call the pup back and give all the attention you want too. Once the pup understands what behaviour gains it attention and what behaviour does not result in attention, then start to bring in the Work to Earn described below and request a Sit before attention is given – important that the pup understands the above first. The reason for the very short time period before calling pup back is that the pup figures out for itself what behaviour worked and what didn’t. If we waited five minutes or so before calling the pup back, the pup would not associate what behaviour resulted in it being ignored and what behaviour resulted in attention being given – pups and dogs live in the ‘moment’ so very important that the pup realizes what worked and what did not.
Once the pup has a full understanding of above, then you can start to extend the period before calling it back – once full understanding, you can ignore the pup completely unless you want it to come back to you.
3. Work to Earn - General
Again, bring this exercise in, only when the pup has understood the above.
As we all have to ‘work for our living’ so too does the pup from now on. If we relate this to pack behaviour, every single dog has a job, or combined jobs to perform, such as looking after the pups, guarding the pack, cleaning the den (faeces), hunting for food etc. So, if you look at it that way, why not have your pup working for its living? The more you take control of all the resources, the more your pup will view you, and the rest of the family, as being in charge in the human/canine social structure and the end result will be that the pup will be more relaxed, knowing you are in charge and not try to take charge itself. This will result in good behaviour and less likelihood of bad habits developing.
With our 10 fingers we supply all our dog’s needs – food, walks, play, petting, exercise etc and this together with our voices and body language gives us excellent tools with which to show our dogs that we are the natural leaders in the combined human/canine social structure. At the risk of repeating ourselves for about the 3rd time (we guess by now you have figured out this is important!) it is essential to be consistent when working with dogs.
So from now on there is nothing for free and no matter what the wants it will have to work for it. The work? A simple Sit!
From now on, no matter what the circumstances, the pup is required to perform a simple Sit. This can be before walks, for attention, before ball is thrown etc. This can be incorporated into all parts of a pup’s life and results in a well-behaved pup that sits politely in front of people - what a pleasure. Some examples where to use this are below, and bring this in with anything you can think of: -
- Sit before attention is given
- Sit before the ball is thrown
- Sit before going for a walk
- Sit before getting into or out of the car
- Sit before going up or down the stairs or through a gate
- Sit before going in or out of a door.
4. NRM/RM – Non-Reward & Reward Marker -
In behaviour modification, we may not use this exercise, as to do so may result in us giving attention to a behaviour the dog is already doing, here, we are using it as a training exercise of what behaviour we will, and will not accept.
Please note, that this exercise not to be used while teaching the Ignoring when arriving home, and Attention on your terms at this stage – rather keep this for any other behaviour not acceptable, such as the pup trying to jump up onto a table, or similar.
Very often, a dog has heard the word ‘no’ so many times that it becomes white noise and is totally ignored, and this is why we prefer the use of a word that is not used in our daily conversation such as ‘hush’, poufy, uhuh etc. 000It does not matter what word you use as long as it is not part of your daily conversation. We prefer the cue UH-UH!, as it is a word that, on average, is not used in the home vocabulary.
Additionally, it is very difficult to tell our dogs to do nothing! You may be able to say to your children ‘please don’t walk on the tiles, I just washed them’, but your pup would not understand a word of this. By bringing in a word/cue that is used exclusively for behaviour we do not want, it makes it much easier for the pup to understand and by using only one word which is always the same, complete consistency is achieved.
However, there are a few rules with the NRM - it must only be used WHILE the dog is engaged in the behaviour you do not want - even a few seconds later is too late as the dog will relate the NRM to what it is currently doing - not the behaviour is was engaged in a few seconds before.
What is also important with the NRM is the tone and intensity of your voice. Although dogs normally listen to people who speak in a quiet voice, when teaching a pup, the NRM we suggest that the first few times you use a harsher and higher tone of voice. The reason for this is that it will make more of an impact on the pup - if you started off in a very quiet tone of voice the pup would possibly ignore you and you end up having to repeat the NRM several times eventually shouting - by going in with a harsher and louder voice than usual you can get the desired effect.
Once the pup has a total understanding of the NRM you can reduce your tone of voice completely. Another point here is that when saying the UHUH, make both your body language and facial expressions mean what you say - by looking stern, staring at the pup with hard eyes, making your body stiff. Overkill? Yes, but we want to get the message across and this does not have to continue once the pup understands – once the pup understands, the intensity that the cue is delivered can be reduce, and once your pup does understand, you will find that you may well be able to say UHUH, and raise your eyebrows, or point you finger, and the pup will stop.
This is all well and fine - the pup now understands what we do not want, so how do we indicate to the pup what we do want? Simple, we can make use of a Reward Marker by simply saying 'good dog' the very second the pup stops the behaviour we do not want. It is important to actually mark the behaviour you do want so in the example of a pup that was jumping up on the table, you would use the NRM of UHUH while the pup had its paws against the table - the very second the paws touch the floor, you would then say 'good dog'.
What is important here is that the Reward marker is totally non-committal - a bit like you pass somebody a glass of water and they say 'thank you. There is no inflection of the voice, no touching and no praise and also do not use the dog’s name.
What we have now done is to bring in a system whereby the pup understands exactly what it can and cannot do - a new language or way of communication has been formed and this will result in your pup being more secure and a lot better behaved as it understands what you want.